Shaykh Rajab Ad-Deeb

“By the name of Allah son, we used to sit on our knees for 8 hours straight without moving at all! Without a sip of water or a glance here and there! I would close my eyes 8 hours straight, sleep was not an option. When I would feel that I might fall asleep I would put black pepper in my eyes to prevent myself from falling asleep. Even though my eyes were burning, I did not feel a thing due to the joy of remembrance! They burned but I felt nothing.

I started by putting salt and then moved on to pepper to prevent myself from falling asleep. Eight hours straight, and still I would still hit myself with shoes. Upon getting to the mosque, I would hit myself with my brothers shoes. I saw myself as oblivious, I did not consider myself as one who remembers. I did not see myself as competent. Even after 8 hours of remembrance, I did not perceive myself as someone who remembers.

Once, after 8 hours of remembrance, our shaykh called for me may Allah be pleased with him. I went to him. When I was with him, he asked me; “Son, how is your remembrance?”. I told him, “All gratitude is to Allah”. He asked me, “Where is your rosary?” I gave it to him. he looked at it and threw it back. He said, “this is not the rosary of someone who remembers”. By the name of Allah, I practised the remembrance eight hours straight. Not for a day or two, for two to three months, eight hours! “Take, this is not the rosary of someone who remembers”. I said, “your wish is my command”. “I will bring you the rosary of someone who remembers”.

I immediately went into Khalwa (spiritual seclusion). I went into seclusion for a period of three months and twenty days. During those four months, I did not talk to anyone nor did I sit with anyone. Not my wife, nor my children, nor my mother, nor my father, nor my brother. I covered my head and remained in remembrance. I used to remember around the clock, the whole twenty-four hours of the day. By the name of Allah, I did not drop the rosary except to pray the obligatory prayers.

I would go down with my head all covered, I would stand in the mihrab, pray, and immediately go back into isolation to resume my practise of the remembrance. I would only stop in order to pray the obligatory prayers. I would pray, grab my rosary and resume the remembrance.

After 4 months and 10 days, I visited my Shaykh. He asked me, “Where Is your rosary?” He looked at it and said, “Aha! Blurriness is better than blindness”. “A blurry vision is better than being blind”. I thought to myself how am I to remember more than twenty-four hours a day! He said to me, “There is more son”. “More than twenty-four hours a day?” “Yes there is”. I said, “Guide me my master”. He said to me, “Son, those who remember count their breaths”. “He does not inhale or exhale without remembering Allah”. Allah Hu Akbar. What! They don’t inhale or exhale without remembering God. Son, as such is he who truly remembers. Are you as such? Go and remember Allah better.

Should I say good morning? How long are you remembering allah for? you should remember with every breath that you take”. “With every breath?” I told him, “Sidi, I cannot do it”. He told me, “put in the effort! It requires effort!” “Whoever wants to go there must put in the effort! Son, only those who make an effort get to the mountaintop. If you want to get to the top, then put in more effort! Come on! Get up!”

I started counting my breaths even when I spoke, so that my every breath is taken in remembrance, so that not a single breath  passes free of remembrance! he later asked me again, “Son, how much are you remembering per day?” I said, “Sidi, I did not calculate”. He told me, “Son, you don’t need a watch for this. Don’t calculate”. I said, “Then?” he said, “Do not calculate time, but calculate your observance of God. Observing Allah for a second is better than practising the remembrance an entire day. Calculate your observance of Allah. Observe Allah at all times. Notice how Allah is always with you”.